If God can narrow down to Ten Commandments what it takes for us to live in harmony with Himself and with others, then certainly we don’t need anymore than “ten commitments” when it comes to living in harmony with our spouse.
1975
Walking out the promises
Using the original ten as our model (from Exodus 20:2-17 NIV), we adapted our personal “10 Commitments of Marriage.” In no way are they meant to replace or add to God’s written Word. Our intent is to simply apply each one to our lives as a couple and as individuals. We pass these on to you with hopes you will find them helpful to your own marriage.
As promised, here are the other five for you to consider.
6. You shall not murder.
6. I know that unforgiveness and anger in my heart can eventually kill a relationship. For that reason I will seek God’s healing touch in these areas. I will depend on a divine source for the needed healing and not give myself over to self-medicating with drugs, alcohol or any other means of numbing or covering up my pain. I will actively participate with God in overcoming any negative emotions. I will not punish my spouse for something they didn’t cause and cannot fix. I will give my mate the gift of a healed, sober spouse so that we can enjoy a home where patience and kindness reign supreme.
7.You shall not commit adultery.
7. I will keep my heart, mind, eyes and hands free from lust that can potentially lead to mental infidelity and ultimately to physical unfaithfulness. I will keep the marriage bed pure and our home clean of pornography, salacious movies, reading material, and friends who are suggestive, flirtatious and sexually inappropriate in any way. If a friendship makes my spouse feel uncomfortable, that friendship will end. Above all else, the marital covenant I have made with my spouse will be honored and protected.
8. You shall not steal.
8. I will be trustworthy with the family financial resources as well as the resource of time. There will be no hiding of purchases or selfish indulgences that use family funds in an unfair way. I will yield to the importance of mutually agreeing on major investments. In addition, I will view our time together as highly important and not steal time that belongs to the two of us. Time thieves like computers, phones, games, TV, hobbies and even friend and family will be carefully regulated.
9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
9. I will be truthful with my spouse. I will not lie or try to deceive them in any way. I will not judge my spouse, assign motive or assume the worst of them. Truth will be valued and practiced. I will live my life in an open, honest, forthright way so that trust will never be in question. My phone, computer, iPad, or any other means of communication will be openly available to my spouse. I will hide nothing.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
10. I will guard my heart and mind against being jealous or envious of others. I will cultivate a sense of contentment by focusing on what I have instead of what I don’t have. I will refuse to compare my spouses’ looks, intellect, talents or physical attributes with others. I will not be envious of others’ money, house, kids, cars or position in life. I will practice gratitude and count our blessings. My focus will be on what God has given us, who I am in Christ and what work God has called me to do.
As you can now see, “our ten commitments” are actually statements about what we are individually determined to do in response to God’s original Ten. We hope you are inspired by them and encourage you to create your own responses. Though a huge challenge to follow through with each one, the results can be life and marriage-changing.
Blessings on you and yours,
Steve & Annie
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